One for the witches among us. Ritual Bath Salts

By taking a ritual bath and using the items saved only for magical use, you begin to put yourself in a spiritual mindset. Ritual bathing allows you to literally wash away the mundane world as you prepare yourself for the spiritual.

Bath Salt Base

½ cup sea salt (I recommend fine ground, though course is ok, it just takes longer to dissolve)
¼ cup Epsom salts
¼ cup baking soda
Essential oils of your choice

In a glass or other non porous, non reactive mixing bowl, mix together salts and baking soda. Add the oils drop by drop until you have reached the desired fragrance. You can also add another layer of magic to the mix by adding a specific number of drops of oil based on y our magical intent. Remember when you are making the bath salts to focus and hold your intent in your mind as you stir. Store in a dry place in a glass jar with a tight fitting lid.

Basic Elderberry wine recipe

4lb Elderberries
1 gallon (5 litres) of boiling water
3 lb (1.5Kg) of granulated sugar
a 'claret' yeast sachet
8 oz (200g) chopped raisins
Juice of 1 lemon
Juice of 1 orange
1 vitamin B tablet
1 teaspoon of yeast nutrient
Procedure:
Strip the berries from the umbrellas into a suitably large primary fermentation vessel with a fork.
Add 8 oz chopped raisins, juice of the lemon, juice of the orange, a vitamin B tablet and a teaspoon of yeast nutrient.
Add the boiling water and stir well.
When cool enough to handle, squeeze fruit with hands to extract juice.
Leave for one day to infuse.
Add 2 1/2 lb sugar and activated yeast and leave covered for three days.
Strain off liquid into demijohns, top up with another 1/4 lb of sugar in each and, if necessary, with cooled boiled water.
Leave to ferment in a warm (65-75 degrees), dark place.
Rack off the lees into a clean demijohn when bubbling has subsided.
Rack again 6 weeks later.
Bottle in dark green bottles when wine is clear (I use a desk lamp to shine through from the other side) and there has been no activity for some time.
Mature for at least 6 months before drinking.

Blackcurrant Princess Pudding

(lovely light sponge with the sharpness of blackurrants)

Ingredients: 4oz Caster sugar, 4oz Margarine, 4oz Self raising flour, 2 Medium eggs, Little milk, 6-8oz blackcurrants.

Method: Cream margarine and sugar together. Add one egg and little of the flour and mix, add other egg and rest of flour and mix thoroughly. Add milk to make mixture to a dropping consistency.

Grease an oven proof dish and spread the blackcurrants over the bottom (you can add some sugar to the blackcurrants if you desire). Pour on the sponge mixture and smooth over the top of the blackcurrants. Bake in a preheated oven 180 degrees C for about 25 minutes. Until the sponge is springy to the touch and a scewer comes out clean.

Famous Quotes

He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
Clarence Darrow

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach

To be satisfied with a little, is the greatest wisdom; and he that increaseth his riches, increaseth his cares; but a contented mind is a hidden treasure, and trouble findeth it not.
Akhenaton

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Bertrand Russell

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

A.A.D.D. (Thanks to Larry Halpin in Australia)

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. * Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my chequebook off the table and see that that there is only 1 cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coke aside, so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head towards the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye * they need to be watered.

I set the coke down on the counter and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for, all morning.

I decide I better put them back on the desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the Den, where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

---the car isn’t washed,

---the bills aren’t paid’

---there is a warm can of coke sitting on the counter,

---the flowers don’t have enough water,

---there is still only one cheque in my chequebook,

---I can’t find the remote,

---I can’t find my glasses,

---and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired.

I realise that this is a serious problem and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first, I’ll check my E-mail.

Do me a favour, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent.

Don’t laugh * if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.

P.S. I just remembered, I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!!!

A game for you to play, I'm warning you it can be very addictive and somewhat annoying.

Heavy Games

Cancel credit cards prior to death (BRILLIANT)

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless
and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past January, and MBNA bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added
late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been
£0.00, now is somewhere around £60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

MBNA:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

MBNA:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

MBNA:
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being
dead?'

MBNA:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

MBNA:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

MBNA:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

MBNA:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

MBNA:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to
help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
her.
I don't think she will care.'

MBNA:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

MBNA:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road , Dublin 11, Ireland , Plot Number 1049.'

MBNA:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'

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